I wrote this a few days ago. Forgot to hit publish. I’m admittedly pretty bad with times and dates but I’m pretty sure that this has been going on for a week, maybe longer. The confusion is pretty bad. Sometimes it’s to the point I almost feel like I’ve got two minds. One is lost and the other is doing its best to keep it’s injured partner in line.
Today I was gassing up the van. I got out, went to the pump and realized I had left my wallet in the console. I went and got it, got back to the pump and just stood there not knowing what I was supposed to do next. I just stood there like an idiot for nearly a minute before I realized I had to get the gas card out and proceed. These loss of mental functions happen randomly probably 3 times a day. The other day I blew the turn into the doctors office and didn’t realize it until I was a good half mile past it. This is a place I had visited every single workday for the past three months!
The other day I went outside to give Bulleit a restroom break and damn near came back in leaving him outside.
Because I know I have these moments I’m always double, and often triple checking my every move.
Soon I’ll be going on a plane for a wedding on the other side of the country. The anxiety and fear of doing something wrong… or failing to do something right is a big concern of mine.