Results Monday and I just don’t think I’m supposed to be here. Making the blood draw appointment there were no humans to speak to. It was all done by me following prompts on my phone. I get and email later saying they had to push it back an hour. Back to following more prompts to reschedule the appointment they had cancelled.
Walked into the office 10 minutes early and had to check myself in using a kiosk that scanned my DL and insurance card. Again, no human. Not even a desk for one. Fully automated and to be completed by the patient. 25 minutes after my actual appointment time I get called in… by a real human. Hardly a hi how are you but she was quick to get my DL and insurance card again. I felt as if I was no longer a human at this point. I was a barcode and a magnetic strip that happened to carry around blood to be sampled.
I’m just losing faith in everything. I’m living in a world that is simply too hard and cold for me to want to be in.
I wrote this probably a few years ago now. Today the thought of it hit me pretty hard on the way home.
“Compassion and humanity can and will survive only as long as we can see the mystery in another’s eyes, the lips that are smiling, the tears running down another’s cheek.” Compassion isn’t gone altogether but it’s clearly on the endangered species list.