Why anyone would fly anymore is completely beyond me. First class, smirst class. I don’t give a shit. For many Airlines or any of the governments eyes… bug splat on the windscreen has more respect than you do. You’re just a blob of paying matter occupying space, giving useless Govt. employees something to do so they can collect a paycheck!

Cases in point:

Wife and Father go to England for a few weeks. No problem especially since England just split from the EU they got a 25% discount on the exchange rate. Thank you England. You’re trying to become fiercely independent again. Hats off folks. I love you all for that.

Here’s where the shit hits the fan. Wife arrives 30 minutes early in Orlando. 1:15 hours later still no wife? Did she make the flight? Did something happen? Kept my mouth shut for an hour and a half… an hour too long but I understand moving a few hundred people around the globe in an aluminum can isn’t the easiest thing to do. Anyway, I ask the info booth what’s the scoop. She says all is perfectly normal and that it can take up to 5 hours to clear customs. Not what I wanted to hear but did she even make the flight? Info bitch couldn’t say. Called Virgin Atlantic. They said I didn’t have the clearance to get that info. I asked what I was supposed to do. They said wait. I said bullshit!
Got on the horn with US customs in Miami pronto and told them in so many words that if they couldn’t tell me exactly where my wife was and her condition at that exact moment I was going to alert every SOB with a badge between Manchester England and Orlando to start looking for her. Miraculously, something that I had been told couldn’t be done was done. They said she would be cleared in the next few minutes. I didn’t need her cleared any faster than anyone else on the 747. I just wanted/needed to know where she was. Simple request you would think. Apparently not so.
Just so you know. Virgin Atlantic rocks. She was treated like the queen herself in both directions. It was my useless Govt. that created the SNAFU!

Next. The Fathers trip with United Airlines (They SUCK!!! They truly SUCK!!!)

20% chance of rain in Newark NJ (capital of fun and pleasure =/) and nearly 0% chance in Greenville/Spartanbrg NC gets your flight cancelled… for 3 fucking days? Jesus, give the poor guy and his fellow passengers a break! 3 days anywhere is insane but Newark? May as well be Beirut or Somalia!
He arrived in Newark at 12:10 pm. About 10:12pm I get a call from a very worried Mother wondering where her husband of 70 years is. Call United Airlines. They told me more BS stories than Hemingway (not the right thing to do at the time), called the Ramada Newark where United Airlines said he was… Ramada never heard of my Father. Called United Airlines back, they said wait till tomorrow and they apologized for the inconvenience. Good lord guys? I’m not bitching about lost underwear and a toothbrush. I’m wanting/needing to know the whereabouts of my Father and I’m not waiting another damn day. (it’s pretty bad when you hope your Father is in Newark).
Wasn’t getting anywhere with anyone until I mentioned that I would be hanging up and contacting the FBI concerning a possible International incident, the NJ State police for a missing person and the Newark Airport Police to visit the United Airlines counter for a few answers. I get a (could I put you on hold for a few moments please?) Damned if they didn’t have me the hotel number along with a room number in less than 2 minutes. Imagine that?

So you wan’t to fly commercial do you? Good luck with that! Have fun in Newark.