Self Isolation

I’ve never been able to describe it. But this is the most accurate I’ve found so far.

Please read.

Some people are so dead-set against feeling anything they don’t want to face that they isolate themselves away from any potential “triggers.” If they don’t spend time with friends or family members, then those people can’t say or do anything that might crack their tightly-sealed doors open.

If they have to communicate with others, it’s via brief emails or texts. Or they might go “no-contact” entirely and become complete social recluses.

Their rationale is that they can keep avoiding all these uncomfortable emotions if they simply pretend they don’t exist. Sort of like when little kids don’t quite get the concept of hide and seek, and think that if they close their eyes tight enough, not only can they not see you – you can’t see them either.

The only way they can keep that pretense going is by not giving anyone the opportunity to tell them otherwise.

The problem here is that this kind of self-isolation exacerbates all kinds of emotional instabilities. When people get reclusive, they can lose their ability to interact or empathize with others. Furthermore, they might develop more serious conditions like agoraphobia. What started out as a desire to be left alone might evolve into the inability to leave their apartment or house.

Eventually, they become trapped by the very walls they erected to protect themselves.

A War Zone

Our battle with Mother Earth a few weeks back was fought with water. Sadly, about a foot more than my trench could handle but I was fortunate. Others died defending theirs.

Yesterday, this morning, last night… I honestly can’t remember we got hit with the winds from our next battle. Thankfully they were blowing in our favor and not too hard. Suffered minimal wind damage with water levels in the negatives. Looking out into the darkness at 3 am was an eerie sight seeing the shadows of branches moving across the walls. I’ll not soon forget the experience.

This afternoon I saw Blackhawks, Jayhawks, as well as a 4 ship sortie of Chinooks (Army and Coastie helicopters btw) fly overhead on the way to the poor souls just south of us all. All using the coast as a compass I’m assuming as they all flew just west of us at around 3k feet if I had to guess.

Forget the brilliance of the aircraft designers, forget the commands of the politicians.

Never!! forget those onboard doing it because they wanted, because they knew others were in need even though many may have been in a similar situation themselves. Wherever they may call home!

Peace, a hearty thanks and a sharp salute to you all. You’re awesome!

Depression

If you haven’t lived it, read the following. Sometimes just understanding is all that some need to start healing. Trust me on this one please!

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. Yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don‘t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.

David Foster Wallace

Pliers and a Hurricane

It’s been awhile since I used them but these are safety wire pliers. They’re used to twist a strand of wire as to secure a bolt, or many bolts from unscrewing themselves on a lot of things but as far as this post goes it refers to airplanes. F-15s in particular… with the exception of my Ducati 996 which loved to unscrew its oil drain plug.

Now not to pat myself on the back too much but my safety wire work was pretty darn good. Similar to an elementary school student mastering the pencil sharpener. I always did it by hand but everyone thought I used these. I’d keep going but seriously, to see a row of castellated bolts all tidied up with wire, well it really is a thing of beauty.

At my separation party from the Air Force, I was handed these as a gag gift. The very ones I never used from my tool box.

I smiled when I rescued them from the flood water.

It’s the simple things for me.