Fear. BP meds, a don’t give a damn pill, soon to have a good stiff drink and off to bed where hopefully I won’t know what a mess I am mentally.

Rene’ has a post cancer checkup tomorrow along with her pulmonary doc taking a peek at something else. I’ve no reason to worry but that’s never stopped me before.

She’s a wonderful woman and friend who means everything to me. She needs to have a long and healthy life. I need to be there for her in a way I’m finding very difficult to accomplish.

This is all just horrible.