I had a shindig this past Saturday. Everyone that meant everything to me showed up. Right now I’m remembering that I think and hope everyone had a nice time but I don’t know as I don’t remember much if any of the details. The thoughts just can’t be recalled and it bothers me greatly! It meant so much to me to see all those that came.
Sunday was a lot of mental turbulence. Again I don’t remember many of the details but I know it was a day I care not to relive.
Today I got up at an earlier time than I normally do and had no alarm set. Made the coffee, checked the emails and here I sit 4 or 5 hours later in a stupor. No thoughts, no plans, I know I have a lot of work to do but I have no idea on how to accomplish it all. I feel like I just don’t care. I’ve no sorrow, compassion or anything! I’d ponder but my mind is a blank slate.
Do I feel that this is related to the radiation? Absolutely!
I do not like this feeling of being separated from everything including myself.