I knew a few days ago things weren’t right with me so I started back on my BP meds. Last evening around 5 or so, it started to hit me pretty bad. Aching chest, high BP, distorted prismatic eyesight, racing heartbeat, random sweats etc. I had a few spells of doubling over from the chest pain. I’ve had these before, I knew what was coming. I went to bed early (for my standards) and was woken 4 or 5 times throughout the night from the pains re-occurring. It wasn’t a lot of fun and at one point I was seriously thinking about a 911 call fearing another TIA but decided not to. I did however do a quick review of my life and was satisfied that if in fact I was going to check out, my thoughts were clear and I had no guilt.
This past week, not sleeping, wondering and preparing for living at ground zero from Ian the Hurricane, worrying about friends and family, feeling the pain not of those lost but those still living in the hell that was delivered to them. Let’s just say it had this rubber band of mine wound to the point of snapping. I held it together until yesterday I guess. Once I had determined my family and home would be safe it finally broke.
As I write this my heart is still racing a bit, my head hurts, vision is restored and my chest feels like it’s been used as a punching bag. Nothing visible but it sure is bruised from the past 12 hours. So far even a few ibuprofen haven’t put a dent in it.
I’m rather happy knowing I didn’t make that call now though as I’d still be in some cold room all plugged in… wishing I wasn’t.
I’m so very sorry for all those that have it so much worse than I. I wish I could do more for them all.

“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.”
Ray Bradbury